Friction in a Dream (About Homosexuality)

Yes, it is 3:00 in the morning and I awoke with a struggle, a war inside my mind. Yesterday at DePelchin we talked about loss and the grieving process, and I came face to face with an aspect from my childhood. In the homework we were to discuss the losses that we have experienced in our life. One of those experiences was with my father leaving my mother for another man.

I was only about four years old when it happened and didn’t fully understand the extent of it until I was about nine years old. I was trying to figure out why he left and was told more about what happened at this point. Sooner or later the information would have come out anyway because of meeting my father’s significant other. I think that this is when the seed of hatred for the gay community started in my life. After all they had taken my father from me. (Please give me the chance to finish before you pass judgment.) Different things in my life fed on this hatred until I could have been called a bigot. Yes, harsh words to describe oneself.

Later, I became friends with someone at The Art Institute of Houston when I was going for my CAD degree. One of the classes that I had to take was speech. This is where I found out the person I was becoming friends with, was gay. He talked about his significant other and their pet ferret. I will always remember that for some reason. There was warmth in his heart and it started to soften mine. His friendship became my first positive confrontation with homosexuality.

As life went on, my best friend started bartending for a local night club and became friends with one of the other bartenders. We found out quickly that he was a gay man. He did not have anyone special in his life at the time, but MAN could he cook! Michael (my best friend at the time) and I would go over and have wonderful meals and enjoy each other’s friendship. His friendship was the second positive confrontation I had with homosexuality.

My mind was changing. I do not quite understand the draw for them; to want someone of the same sex, but at this point I no longer hated them.

Yesterday at DePelchin there was a gay couple that is looking to do Foster Care. To be honest I really don’t know what to think about it, but was confronted once again with my past experience. This is really where the friction starts. The positive rubbing up against the negative until something is burnt up. That was my dream. This couple was in my dream and they were helping me with various things on a ship. I believe my mind was struggling with what I should believe about them and the warmth and friendship that they displayed. Their laughs, their camaraderie, their help and generosity were all on display. However, there were creatures in the dream as well. If these creatures came into contact with you the friction of their touch would consume the person that they came in contact with.

I think that ultimately my mind was trying to cope with the warmth of the people with the thought of their lifestyle and what scripture says. Scripture states:

Leviticus 18:22 – “Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable.” (NIV)

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 – “Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.” (NIV).

These are harsh words, just to name a few. But I really believe it comes down to the word SIN. God hates sin! We have all sinned or done something in our life that we can agree has hurt someone in some way. I believe that this is what sin really is: “Something done at the expense of someone else to the rearing of some sort of hurt in that person or thing.” I also believe that this is why God hates sin so much (the hurt that it causes). Above are harsh words, but I believe that God truly wants our best interest.

Now comes the friction once again. Ultimately I believe that Homosexuality itself is destructive and I have my reasons stated above. However, I also have seen the love that can come from the people themselves. I have heard the statement “Love the people, but hate the SIN.” This comes to heart with me. I confess the hatred that I used to have in my life toward them and hope that they understand why I believe the way that I do. This hatred was sin in my life and I ask the gay community to forgive me for that hatred. I cannot, because of my life’s experience, agree with the lifestyle but my attitude is very different now and I am thankful for that.

My calling is one of warning, as a watchman on the tower telling of the incoming battle (Ezekiel 3). Sin is destructive and I will sound the alarm as best that I can. Hopefully I will warn the people in a loving way and not a destructive one myself as many people (not only in the gay community) have encountered. It is up to the people to decide what they will do with what I have just said, but hopefully they will understand my heart and why I believe the way that I do.

February 21, 2012 1

Song on my Heart

Have you ever just woke up and had a song on your heart. Not one that you have heard over and over in church or on the radio, but one that is sitting within you. That is what this morning was like for me.

We watched “The Voice” last night and maybe some of the music stuck within me because I had a dream about such an instance. They were judging a person and just didn’t think that he had what it took. I was a janitor and just cleaning up some things and everyone was feeling really sorry for this poor fellow. We were actually in the poor part of town instead of on a stage, so everyone was really hoping that he would make it – to give them hope as well. All the sudden I started singing softly, then a little louder, and then into an all out jazzy song and I actually sounded good in my dream. Parts of the song were on my mind when I woke up and I wish I could remember the rest.

Ultimately we all want the chance to be someone or do something special. There is hope a yearning for something more. I am just glad that I have someone special in my life; not only in my wife but with my God as well. He gives me hope and not all people have that. I could not imagine what my life would be like without him.

Some might think that is strange, others that I am outright crazy, while others that I have a beautiful thing. Wherever you might be, my hope is that you too will find this kind of love and hope as well.

I hope that you can wake up with a song on your heart, and a feeling of being loved by the creator of the Universe. I have a reason in believing in him and much of it lies within this hope.

February 6, 2012 2

Abstinence is Possible

I know that I haven’t posted for a couple of weeks now, but it hasn’t been because I didn’t want to. School has been heavy and the reading extreme, but I was looking on my blog and I saw a link to this one on CNN:

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2009/02/17/abstinence-is-not-realistic-palins-daughter-says/

It is quite amazing that when someone agrees with the news that they give it high praise; while when it is contrasting to their view, it is something to attack.

So Palin’s daughter has stated that “abstinence is not realistic.” So I decided that I would discuss this a little from my perspective.

When I was a child, I accepted Christ as my Savior and wanted a pure life with my future wife. So I decided that abstinence was the way that I wanted to go. As I graduated High School I had achieved my goal and decided to go into the Military. I managed to make quite a few friends that helped me go to bars (the kind that clothes tends to disappear in) and drink and do all the things that I grew up believing to be contrary to what God had called me to do. However, I still maintained purity in sexual relationships with women that I had dated. Yes it was difficult and I lost a couple because of it. Then when I was around 25 years old I met a girl whom I loved very much and decided that she was the one for me. I thought it doesn’t really matter anymore because this is the girl I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Besides I had waited 25 years and I was tired of waiting. Little did I know that shortly after we did “THE DEED” we broke up and my heart was broken. I had given up something that I could no longer give to my future wife. It was a few years later that I met my wife.

When I met my wife, she told me that God had convicted her to, “Not date anyone that she had not known for at least a year.” Confusing me, especially in this day and age, but at the same time it intrigued me. We decided to be friends and to just do functions with mutual friends and eventually realized that what we were doing was courting. It became a conviction of ours that we would not even kiss until we had at least past that year mark.

Titus 2:11-15 (www.biblegateway.com)
¹¹For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all men, ¹²instructing us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires and to live sensibly, righteously and godly in the present age, ¹³looking for the blessed hope and the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Christ Jesus, ¹⁴who gave Himself for us to redeem us from every lawless deed, and to purify for Himself a people for His own possession, zealous for good deeds. ¹⁵These things speak and exhort and reprove with all authority Let no one disregard you.

One year after we met, we went on our first date. This was 4 months after I had asked her to marry me. It was quite a shock to people when we didn’t even kiss when I asked her to marry me. Now 4 months later we could date – according to her conviction, but we decided at this point we only had a couple more months before we would get married and decided that we wanted our first kiss to be at the alter. This is pretty extreme I know and very difficult at that. Either way we were able to go from the beginnings of our relationship to our marriage with a pure relationship. I have mistakes in my life, but I will never regret this decision and I have a true blessing in my wife.

Now we have been married for almost 7 years and I love her more today then yesterday. I did not think it possible, but it is. My point is that purity can be a choice but the road will be hard and it is also possible. Is it realistic, “Yes” and yes I messed up before my wife, but our relationship this time encouraged many people that it is possible! The question is then, “If it is possible, would it then be realistic?” Well that is something that you will have to decide, but either way “know that it is possible!”

Romans 13:11-14
¹¹Do this, knowing the time, that it is already the hour for you toawaken from sleep; for now salvation is nearer to us than when we believed. ¹²The night is almost gone, and the day is near Therefore let us lay aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. ¹³Let us behave properly as in the day, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual promiscuity and sensuality, not in strife and jealousy. ¹⁴But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts.

February 18, 2009 5

Heart Breaking News!

Recently I read a couple of blogs online that seem not only to reject the God that created them, but also to chide those who embrace him. I know that persecution is not that strong in the United States, but it is in other countries (See Voice of the Martyrs), but it still doesn’t take away the fact that these people are rejecting God. It is heartbreaking news to know that someone is outright rejecting God – that is heartbreaking enough, but to know that they reject and hatefully go after those who do, is even more heartbreaking.

I used to be the type that would argue my point until I was blue in the face. Then I realized that it was going to do no good when they closed to the idea that Christ died for them so that he could spend an eternity with them. This is when Matthew 7:6 came more to light for me.

Matthew 7:6 (www.biblegateway.com)
” Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces. Matthew 7:5-7 (in Context) Matthew 7 (Whole Chapter)

The “Good News” (Gospel) that we have is a precious pearl and treasure to the Christian. It brings hope. It brings life. It brings joy (notice I said joy not happiness there is a difference). It brings us closer to a God who loved us enough to send His son to take on the penalties of our wrong doing (Sin).

Romans 5:8 (www.biblegateway.com)
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:7-9 (in Context) Romans 5 (Whole Chapter)

But your faith will also bring persecution. They will turn on you and trample you, but just like Paul you have to brush yourself off and continue in the Faith. It is not always easy but it is always for the good.

Now I read things like this with a saddened heart and maybe or maybe not leave a comment, then I move on. It is heartbreaking to leave them as they are, but we have to remember, “Just like the people complaining to Moses, it wasn’t him who they were rejecting.” We cannot give up on sharing the gospel, but remember Matthew 7:6. Give what information that you can in love and pray for those who persecute you – but don’t throw your pearls before swine for they will turn on you and trample it underfoot.

January 26, 2009 0

Invite Him This Season

Last night I had a dream about a man that decided that he wanted to be a Christian, so he thought that the best way was to get up between 4-6 AM and dedicate that time to the Lord. As time passed he noticed that not much had changed except the time that he woke up. Frustrated, he became angry at God and started to yell at him. “Where are you!” Then with a small still voice he heard, “You dedicated the time but you never invited me to join you.”

I woke up thinking to myself, “What does this really mean?” I gather that he was saying what Scripture says.

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6

and

that (A)if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and (B)believe in your heart that (C)God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation. Romans 10:9-10

I am sure that it has some to do with that, but I think he was talking to me directly. I haven’t really gotten into this Christmas season so far and have not taken the time to include him in on all the hustle and bustle that this holiday season has caused. This Christmas season I want to take some personal time, to spend with my Lord. I cannot think of a better way to celebrate his birth, then to spend some quality time with him. That is the gift I imagine that he wants the most. It is good to love people, but we cannot forget that that command was the second of two. The first was to “Love the Lord with all your heart, soul, and mind – then people. -Matthew 22: 36-40” I know that we can love God by loving people, but sometimes I think he just craves us!” I hope this Christmas season, I get a better attitude, Love people, and Take some time for the God who created me. I hope the same for you as well. – Merry Christmas

December 17, 2008 0