Friction in a Dream (About Homosexuality)

Yes, it is 3:00 in the morning and I awoke with a struggle, a war inside my mind. Yesterday at DePelchin we talked about loss and the grieving process, and I came face to face with an aspect from my childhood. In the homework we were to discuss the losses that we have experienced in our life. One of those experiences was with my father leaving my mother for another man.

I was only about four years old when it happened and didn’t fully understand the extent of it until I was about nine years old. I was trying to figure out why he left and was told more about what happened at this point. Sooner or later the information would have come out anyway because of meeting my father’s significant other. I think that this is when the seed of hatred for the gay community started in my life. After all they had taken my father from me. (Please give me the chance to finish before you pass judgment.) Different things in my life fed on this hatred until I could have been called a bigot. Yes, harsh words to describe oneself.

Later, I became friends with someone at The Art Institute of Houston when I was going for my CAD degree. One of the classes that I had to take was speech. This is where I found out the person I was becoming friends with, was gay. He talked about his significant other and their pet ferret. I will always remember that for some reason. There was warmth in his heart and it started to soften mine. His friendship became my first positive confrontation with homosexuality.

As life went on, my best friend started bartending for a local night club and became friends with one of the other bartenders. We found out quickly that he was a gay man. He did not have anyone special in his life at the time, but MAN could he cook! Michael (my best friend at the time) and I would go over and have wonderful meals and enjoy each other’s friendship. His friendship was the second positive confrontation I had with homosexuality.

My mind was changing. I do not quite understand the draw for them; to want someone of the same sex, but at this point I no longer hated them.

Yesterday at DePelchin there was a gay couple that is looking to do Foster Care. To be honest I really don’t know what to think about it, but was confronted once again with my past experience.  This is really where the friction starts. The positive rubbing up against the negative until something is burnt up. That was my dream. This couple was in my dream and they were helping me with various things on a ship. I believe my mind was struggling with what I should believe about them and the warmth and friendship that they displayed. Their laughs, their camaraderie, their help and generosity were all on display. However, there were creatures in the dream as well. If these creatures came into contact with you the friction of their touch would consume the person that they came in contact with.

I think that ultimately my mind was trying to cope with the warmth of the people with the thought of their lifestyle and what scripture says. Scripture states:

Leviticus 18:22 – “Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable.” (NIV)

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 – “Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.” (NIV).

These are harsh words, just to name a few. But I really believe it comes down to the word SIN. God hates sin! We have all sinned or done something in our life that we can agree has hurt someone in some way. I believe that this is what sin really is: “Something done at the expense of someone else to the rearing of some sort of hurt in that person or thing.” I also believe that this is why God hates sin so much (the hurt that it causes). Above are harsh words, but I believe that God truly wants our best interest.

Now comes the friction once again. Ultimately I believe that Homosexuality itself is destructive and I have my reasons stated above. However, I also have seen the love that can come from the people themselves. I have heard the statement “Love the people, but hate the SIN.” This comes to heart with me. I confess the hatred that I used to have in my life toward them and hope that they understand why I believe the way that I do. This hatred was sin in my life and I ask  the gay community to forgive me for that hatred. I cannot, because of my life’s experience, agree with the lifestyle but my attitude is very different now and I am thankful for that.

My calling is one of warning, as a watchman on the tower telling of the incoming battle (Ezekiel 3). Sin is destructive and I will sound the alarm as best that I can. Hopefully I will warn the people in a loving way and not a destructive one myself as many people (not only in the gay community) have encountered. It is up to the people to decide what they will do with what I have just said, but hopefully they will understand my heart and why I believe the way that I do.

Can Tongues be a Crutch?

I know this will probably could cause a stir, because I know many of my friends believe in speaking in tongues. Right now I am reading a book called “Are Miraculous Gifts for Today?” ( and it talks about four theories on it. I have to discuss the book with one of my teachers and I am interested in what it will have to say about it. Am I against tongues? Well that is a whole other blog that I can save for another day. The question that I do want to pose however is, “Can Tongues become a Crutch?” I was talking yesterday with a friend of mine who is still a fairly new Christian and he is in a Pentecostal church.  I am Southern Baptist now but this is part of my background so I know a little bit of the teaching on it. However, he said some things that caused me to contemplate this question. “Can Tongues become a Crutch?

First what is a Crutch?

Crutch –
1. a staff or support to assist a lame or infirm person in walking, now usually with a crosspiece at one end to fit under the armpit.
2. Anything that serves as a temporary and often inappropriate support, supplement, or substitute; prop: He uses liquor as a psychological crutch.

I do want to say that crutches are not always a bad thing, if it is being used for the purpose that it was made for, but it can also be something that can hold you back as well. Usually crutches are temporary so that someone can heal properly, till they get back on their feet – so to say.

I have another friend that sometimes stutters that I have seen utter tongues under his breath while praying before that helped him get a grasp on his words as he was praying. In this case I would say that it probably is not, because it helps him not be so tongue tied. LOL! I have even seen it in other application that I cannot deny that something was happening. Although I disagree with how it is taught in many ways, I have seen some fruit by it.

The reason that I am asking the question is that I wonder if at times people don’t use tongues out of the fact that they don’t know how to talk to God straight and in their own understanding. I am in Seminary and have trouble talking to God at times. It comes many times because of the distance that we cause between him and us. Walls we erect, or have unconfessed sins, and so forth and so on. All these become barriers to us and God in our pray life. 

Sometimes I think that it would be easier to just say something that I don’t understand just so that I can talk to him, but what good does that really do? We got to remember that even silence before God is prayer too. Tongues may be directed to God in some “Unknown Language” but how do I know when to give God the glory for the answer, if I don’t know what I asked him? If done in public, there always has to be an interpreter – what happens when there is not one? How do I know that I don’t just sound like someone out of a funny farm who is just creating words like some kid struming his lips as he makes sound? How do I know if what I am asking for is something that I am really wanting to deal with? Sometimes God asks us to do difficult things and how would you know that you are supposed to do something if you don’t know what you said?

It is all confusing to me on how this benifits the Christian life. I know that Scripture states that Tongues edify the person, but Paul also says that he would rather have some Prophecy (teaching gods message) because it helps edify the whole church instead of the individual. Do people use it as a Crutch because we don’t know how to talk to God? Do people use it because they are supposed to talk to God and they don’t want to take the time to have a meaningful conversation with him they can understand? If it is a crutch is it a bad thing?

Please if you do answer and someone has an opposing view – be kind. Please don’t take this as an attack on this theology, I just want to know your thoughts.

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