Chaundra and I have both agreed to fast our (Phone) games this week. We have gotten really bad about playing it, and even spending a little money on it. In our discussion this morning we have realized that our focus on God is not what it used to be.
In 2009 when we bought our house we took a faith journey. I was to finish Seminary, go to Russia, and we were going to sell our house and get a new one nearer the church. Everything went just as God had planned even to the point of getting a house we never thought we could afford. God has always provided for us since then.
Then we started a new journey. We wanted children and couldn’t have any. So we decided that we would start the process to adopt. Our new Faith journey had many ups and downs. At first we were denied the opportunity, but we knew this was a path God wanted us to take. After much prayer and contesting the results, we were accepted and in 2012. The cool thing is, we finished our training around the time that our little boy was born and we got him in January 2013 at 3 and a half months old – A day that I will never forget. He became my world and our family grew.
This Journey in 2013 became a great struggle and full of heartbreak, but a path that we new God had for us. The CPS worker thought that our son should be with a black family and wasn’t even going to consider us even though we were the only parents that he ever knew. I was devastated and frantic, calling his Lawyer to let her know what was going on. We had much prayer and support at the time. Lacy, the Lawyer, went from bottom to top letting them know that this was exactly what she was trying to avoid by placing him with us. She finally got a stop move order from the judge and has been with us ever since. She is one of my heroes placed in our life by God. This was one of the darkest times in Chaundra and my life.
Life got better, and our loving boy was growing. In 2015 we started a new journey, looking to adopt a second child. This is when we met our little girl. We got her at 6 and a half months old. The process was much smoother but took much more time. Not many ups and downs this time, other then having a child with a much different personality. At first she didn’t want to have anything to do with me, but after a trip Chaundra took with our son and our little girl getting sick, our bond grew strong. She is my girl. Life was good.
In 2016, the day before our little girl’s 1st birthday, tragedy struck. My boss of almost 20 years, my mentor, a father figure, and friend passed away. They were saying that it was suicide and I couldn’t believe it. It went against everything I felt he was teaching me. I had a job and then the next day my future was up in the air. My next faith journey was about to begin. Would I work for one friend or another? Would I start my own business? Would I go into something completely different? I had so many questions on how I would provide, as well as confusion of my friends decision. I sought answers.
Since then, I have battled depression. I used to be more of an extrovert, but have become more of an introvert. It takes more effort for me to do some of the things that came naturally before. Ultimately I decided to try and help as many as I could with the company that I had already worked for. If I would have dropped everything and went somewhere else the legacy that I had helped build would have hurt a lot of people. With God’s help, we were able to help 95% of the people who would have been hurt in the situation.
This last journey has been a struggle, but God has always provided even when I didn’t know how it was going to happen. I have seen evidence that he has been there for us. Now, in 2022, we are looking for our next journey. We are asking God for guidance on what that should be. I almost even applied to our church for a Children’s Minister position, but had not seen evidence that this was the direction we were to take.
We are not sure what this year holds and it kind of scares me a little. I pray for God’s guidance, and look back at all that he has done and got us through in the past. Kind of reminds me of the father’s of our faith walking through all that He did for Israel. Now we pray and wait!
Thank you for every opportunity that we get to come before Your throne. You have done much for us. You have shown us scripture when we needed it. You have enlightened our minds to Your restoration. You have redeemed our souls. You are God almighty! I am sorry for the things that I disappoint you with doing and ask your to help me follow your steps. Our family is asking for You to help us find what our next journey might be. Please walk with us, enlighten us, and help us to hear your voice and follow Your steps. Thank you again, for all that you have done. – In Jesus Name, AMEN!